My own Being

Have you ever wondered why you can’t have a long term relationship? For years I struggled to find a guy who would be right for me, and I believed that he was out there somewhere, and I would have met him at some point. After all that is what happens to many people, so nothing strange about that…
Then years went by and I am still on my own. The guys I dated barely left any impression on my mind and I also got tired of this Hunting game.
So one day it all became clear to me. I don’t want a relationship at all. That’s it! It’s that simple…
Now I am at the point in my life where I have reached a certain stability, conquered some main goals, achieved a few rewarding perks. And I don’t ever miss having a boyfriend.
When I was young, I wanted to accomplish a lot of things and everything looked so far and out of reach to me. Finding a boyfriend appeared like the most approachable and manageable possibility of all.
Certainly that wasn’t the case, it turned out! And I’ve moved on, things have changed for me.
So I discovered that a boyfriend isn’t what I need, I care about other things and issues but a family isn’t on my future plans. And most of all, it doesn’t have to be!
Exactly, this question appeared in my mind: How come that everybody thinks they need a partner to be happy or complete? Because that is not the case. Let’s recognize it! We can do a lot for our own well being! And if more people were able to see this reality, I think everybody would be much better off. There would be less problems, tragedies and conflicts everywhere.
In conclusion, my message is for everybody to try and shift the focus on yourself and what you can do to better your life, rather than wanting to change others and what they are, in order to feel better with yourself.

Violet Bloom Flowers Purple Blossom Plant

Normality, conformity and acceptance

People are wired to maintain their balance by avoiding what is diverse and uncomfortable.
This thought helped me understand people that are different from me, because I didn’t use to think like them.
Since I can remember I’ve always been very fascinated by diversity and this distinguished me from the majority of people and the way they think.
So this premise made it difficult for me to relate to most people and to fit in with everybody else.
In any case I don’t feel abnormal or anything of that sort. Only I am wired to think differently than most, probably because as a child I spent a lot of time by my self and that fuelled my imaginative and creative abilities.
Now, I found huge value in my way of thinking – that is when I’ve been allowed to put it in action by a scared conformist world – during my life.
Even then, I came to change my thinking after all because of interactions with people who are different from me that harmed me in a few occasions. And that made me question my view and thoughts.

“You must have wished a million times to be normal.”
“I’ve wished I had two heads. Or that I was invisible. I’ve wished for a fish’s tail instead of legs. I’ve wished to be more special.”
“Not normal?”
― Katherine Dunn, Geek Love

“Almost everyone prefers normality because normality brings comfort and security. But when you think about it, normality hinders the reason why you are on this earth.”
― Euginia Herlihy